dear barnibee

realized something
i am say things on the blogg that  i dont say in real life
i kinda put it out in cyber space and say "spread your wings an fly, remember to wash behind your ears and eat three square worms a day"
why? i dont know... i think its because my blogg is becomming my best friend that regrets us being friends
he is starting to say "please shut up... stop telling me things... i know your sad, SUCK IT UP!"
you know what blogg, you happened, so deal with it
butttt... blogg... (who i think i will name barnabee) i will promise that i will be better to you
more happy, more silly, more "HEY! LETS DO SOMETHING STUPID THAT YOU MIGHT REGRETT!"
im sorry barnabee... i havent been fair to you

last emo thing.. promise

i finally finished up the break up song that i have been working on since.. the insodent... if you dont wanna, dont continue, this is a ugly door, proseed at your own risk

How did we sudenly die

we never even sputtered

I new I was never really worth your time

now I gotta pick up your clutter

I have to get over how far ive fallen

but its hard when you wont stop callin

and now I fallen and cant get up

but its hard when the gravity wont let up

Those strings you ve tried pulin

there aint nothin there

you've torn them out by their roots

made my heart into a holed night mere

went to the doctor, to stop the pain

you shoul've seen his eyes

he said “what ever it is, its insane

it looks like tim burtans demise

Those strings you ve tried pulin

there aint nothin there

you've torn them out by their roots

made my heart into a holed night mere

the worst part is, im still head over heals

I take you back in a heart beat

even if you take me like a last resort meal

it'd still taste so sweet

the strings that you've are pullin

stop... I please no more

I cant keep up that storry any longer

I hate being your prisnor of war

anger turned inward is depression, anger turned sidways, is hawkeye

so today I heard a kid (whom I am not very fond of) singing kati and my song. But not only was he singing it (which braught back painfull memories), but he was slaughtering it. He took this song, that was ment as a humble realization of their love, and turned it into a “yea, I think im usher, let me use verbrado, and slurr my notes into the next word” not only was it a horrible memory being forced to the surface, it was in a horrifying form.

It was a monster. A night mere. Kind of like saying “yea... so I ran over your dog today... it died... but you can still keep the carcus” it was very painfull.

I did everything in my power to not become emotional... to not give him a piece of my mind... instead.. I tried to chuckle... I laughed so I didnt cry. I patted him on the back and said somethin snarky like, “lovin the song choice” or “man.. I know its not taylor swift, but this isnt much better” ahh... I was in such a blind ...(furry isnt the word) pain... (that isnt the word iether, but it will have to do) that I dont even remember what I said. I have been realizeing that what I do, is mostly to keep my mind off of things. I crack jokes, I act like a fool, I do whatever... just so I dont have to face it. Every night and every moringin I read my “verses of encouragement” and I ask god for peace... but... im have a hard time keeping my head above water...

yea... I have realized that this is probably to personal for a blogg... so when my sences come to me ill probably take it off...

if girls can be bros

...chris is gone this weekend.. which means no bro time... which succks... cause its chris.. and i wanna hang with him on saturday.... its funny.... lol

buttttt, taylor is subbing as chris... this could be.... (insert and random word here) (yes... even if the word is penguins) but, in the words of the deep and wise philosipher gwen staphani, it will probably be  "bananas! B - A - N - A - N - A - S!!!" *sigh.. what ever.. i dont wanna talk about it.. its personal* this might be the beginning on an era, or the beginning of... well... one of those storys that you tell your friends that dont know the person that your talking about. "i cant beleive he refused to referr to me as a girl... i mean.. yea.. bro time.. but seariously bradbury... really?... i dont know... *does the shrugg sholders, hold hands like an egyption that is confused, and gives a crooked smile" lol, we'll see

my dream, for a silver screen

emo sessions with danny. i was thinking to myself "oh woe to me". how i wish life was constructed with road signs, and rules. WHAT IF LIFE REALLY WAS A HIGH WAY?  lets think about this seariously. if you wont admitt this than i will, we all really wish life was the road system. if you arent supposed to go some where there is a caution sign, or a stop sign. If we have clearance to go, theres a green light that goes on. that way, if you make a mistake, you know it, rather than doing something that you think is right, and it turns out to be wrong and hurtful in the long run.

so im thinkin about why everythign is all.. gloomy and all... and so to break me out of this gloomyness, i what somethin funneh. i watched this videohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJJ5I8TQY5g&feature=related

what if life was like this, do a silly dance, and life would be fine... in this clip, do you see anything going wrong? i mean you know something must be wrong, but you dont know what, an dyou dont know why, but you do know there is a silly man dancin, and everythings fine. though life would be dull mondain, and without a reason... it would still be nice.. to have a silver screen life...

heros/ what i wanna be when i grow up

Every one has heros, mine of which, is this guy. Also, people have an imagine of what they wanna be when they grow up, mine of which is also this guy.

THEEND

(i shouldnt have to  explain why)

one man's (or in this case girls) sad song, is another boys giggle *grinns silly ly*

so, its saturday night. i just got done unwinding, and reading some james (who is the man BE TEA DOUBLE YOU) and i thought that i would take a jolly good stroll down memory lizzle. as im walking, and prancing, i see an ex.... boy friend... of my sister! so i go on his myspace, and low and behold, there it was... a song he wrote. about her. lol, chorus was

"some times i miss having you around
but then i think about those chains you bound
ooooooo yea, since you set me freeeeeeeeeeeeee
oooooooOOOOO yeaH i can breeeeaaaaathhhh"

lol, it was super funneh, so i learned it. i play it... ish nice
now would my sister be very happy? nahhh, but! was it fun? yea it was. it was like acoustic 80's hair metle. kinda like... skid row "ill remember you" but acoustic. it was fantastic

deep though and point of this? it made me think.... songs writen about your sister is funneh!

ok, so... is this horrible? possibly, but am i meaning it mean? no! i love my sister, and honestly, the song wasnt that well writen, its just humorous to look back on how clueless i was when they broke up and i was 14, because to me, i lost a buddy, but to my sister, she lost a big chunk of time, memories, and... dare i say it... hopes n dreams.